12 February 2022

Ear Buds Don’t Taste Good

 Ava took these beautiful photos of our dog, Lulu, last evening. Ava has a photographer’s eye; she was proud of these pictures because it is all natural evening sunlight, no filters.



Praising her for being such a good dog and posing so nice, Ava offered her a treat. 

Plot twist: Ava had her Bluetooth (wireless) ear buds in, and when she leaned down to give Lulu a Milkbone, her ear bud fell out onto the floor … see where this is going? 

I suddenly heard a commotion and frantic cries of  “No, Lulu! No! No!” I jumped out of my chair and rushed to the kitchen to find Ava desperately reaching into the dog’s mouth. 

Lulu, thinking in the ear bud was a tasty treat, swallowed the goddamned thing in an instant. 

Normally, I’m pretty chill about this kind of stuff. Dogs are quite resilient. However, this was a rechargeable ear bud with a lithium battery inside. Ava couldn’t be certain that the dog hadn’t bitten into it before gobbling it down, it just happened so quickly; if Lulu had bitten it, the battery acid could leak out and eat into her stomach or intestines. In short, it could be fatal. 

So, after a discussion with Dr. Kemp, the on-call veterinarian, we spent our Friday evening at the Crosslake animal hospital. Lulu got a magical IV injection. She puked just like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Ear bud recovered, just like new. 

There’s never a dull moment. 

There it is. It probably didn’t taste very good going down or coming up. 


09 February 2022

The Rams and the Bengals Spin a Tangled Web

Most of you know I am a football nut. I love the sport, I loved playing the game and I love the game's history. 

I’m always amazed at the crazy connections you can uncover if you start digging into the bedrock of pro football history. Recently, while slowly compiling my own NFL history (during the cold winter months I don't binge on Netflix, I research and write), I've made a fun discovery: this year’s Super Bowl teams--the Rams and the Bengals--have a direct tie to each other. 

In fact, we could call this year's championship game the Long Lost Battle of Ohio. How? Read on!

Our story starts in 1934, with an Ohio physician and NFL pioneer named Harry March. 

Dr. March's passion for football started in college. He played on Mount Union's very first collegiate football team in 1893 and later worked as team doctor for the legendary Canton Bulldogs. Dr. March had served nine seasons as president of the New York Giants after convincing Tim Mara to invest $500 in the team. 

Unfortunately, after a dispute with Boston Redskins owner George Preston Marshall, Dr. March sold his interest in the New York Giants and left the National Football League that same year.

Dr. Harry March (above). He convinced Tim Mara, who had never seen a football game, to invest $500 in the New York Giants. Mara's family owns the Giants to this day, now worth $4.85 billion. A considerable return on his investment.

Dr. March was a visionary and he believe he could model pro football after pro baseball, with two rival leagues playing a “Football World Series.” With the help of a few investors, he decided to form his own league in 1936. 

Stuck for a name, he simply called his new organization the American Football League.*

*(Quick note: To understand pro football history is to realize it gets confusing. Everybody loved the name "American Football League." In fact, there were four separate, unrelated AFLs between 1926 and 1960. Historians refer to them as AFL I, AFL II, etc. Each league was formed to rival the monopolized NFL and none lasted more than two seasons, except the AFL IV).

March's AFL, commonly referred to as AFL II, featured eight franchises, including one based in Cincinnati called the Bengals. This team is unrelated to the current Super Bowl-bound Cincinnati Bengals, but there is a historical connection, as we shall see. 

The original Cincinnati Bengals vs. Boston Shamrocks; a 1937 match-up from Dr. March's AFL II. An interesting sidenote: the Shamrocks were very successful in Boston and outdrew the NFL's Boston Redskins, prompting that franchise to move to Washington in 1937. This must have put a smile on Dr. March's face, since he left the NFL after a dispute with the Redskins' owner. courtesy: cincymuseum.org


A second Ohio-based team in the new AFL II was called the Cleveland Rams, a team founded by businessman Homer Marshman. Figuring the hard work was already done for him, Marshman chose the nickname "Rams" after the powerhouse collegiate team, Fordham Rams. He even "borrowed" their logo and red/black color scheme. Let's say it was a simpler time.

Any similarities between Fordham University's logo and Cleveland Rams' logo are definitely not coincidental. courtesy: redbubble.com

The Cleveland Rams defected to the more established NFL in 1937. This also proved to be the last season of the AFL II; it had only survived two years.

Harry March passed away in 1940, more than two decades before his “World Series of Football” vision became a reality (what we now call the Super Bowl).


courtesy: sporsteamhistory.com


In 1946 the United States finally settled into peacetime, and the public was primed for entertainment. The All-America Football Conference was launched, yet another league formed to rival the NFL. This time the competition was serious; a star of this new league was Ohio coaching legend Paul Brown, who was paid handsomely to lead a new franchise in Cleveland. 

The All-America Football Conference, the NFL's first serious rival. courtesy:logoserver.com

Coach Brown was a hero in Ohio after guiding the Ohio State Buckeyes to a national championship four years earlier. Not a bit full of himself, named his new Cleveland team the Browns.

The NFL's Cleveland Rams were already struggling to put fans in the stands. Now, what was left of their fan base quickly defected to the legendary Ohio coach and his wildly popular Browns. The NFL granted permission for the Rams to pack their bags and head to Los Angeles.

The Rams stayed in Los Angeles until 1994. The franchise relocated to St. Louis for 20 years, but has called Los Angeles home again since 2016.

After four seasons, the AAFC could not sustain itself financially. The league folded, but the AAFC's Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers and the original version of the Baltimore Colts all accepted invitations to join the NFL monopoly. 


courtesy: wikipedia.com

Now the plot thickens. 

Paul Brown coached his namesake team for almost two decades before he was fired by Cleveland Browns' owner Art Modell--a controversial and sensational sports story at the time. 

The NFL left a bad taste in Brown's mouth, but he was not done with professional football, not yet, especially if it meant getting even with that commie bastard Modell. 

In 1960, yet another league was formed to compete with the NFL (American Football League IV). When Brown heard that league was looking to establish a rival franchise in Ohio, he jumped at the opportunity. He was given complete control over the new organization. 

He called his new team the Bengals, named after the short-lived team 32 years earlier from Dr. Harry March's AFL II. Brown felt it made a nice historic connection with the past.

Brown essentially ripped off the Browns' (his Browns) color scheme; he mulled over several helmet designs, but settled on the Browns' plain orange shell with the word "BENGALS" slapped on the side. It is possible Coach Brown was trying to make a point. 

Cincinnati has been home to the Bengals since 1968.

Paul Brown leading his second professional football franchise, the Cincinnati Browns Bengals in 1968. He had been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame the previous year. courtesy: americanfootball.fandom.com

So there you have it, a direct tie between today's Los Angeles Rams and Cincinnati Bengals: 

  1. Both teams originated in Ohio; the Rams and original Bengals both formed in 1936 and were two of the eight teams in Dr. March's American Football League II.
  2. The Ohio coaching legend who chased the Rams out of Cleveland (and to Los Angeles) later formed a new team in Cincinnati called the Bengals, named after the original 1936 team.
  3. On February 13th, Homer Marshman's former Cleveland Rams will face Paul Brown's Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, in the Long Lost Battle of Ohio.
  4. No, you can't make this stuff up.

Brown with an array of Bengals prototype helmets. The helmet he is holding looks remarkably similar to today's design. The Bengals switched to the tiger stripe design in 1981; this photo was taken in 1967. Brown ultimately settled on a much less creative design. courtesy: bigblueview.com




4 January 2024

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