The Nostril Stick Test

I like to call this photo "stupid cold."

This morning in my part of the world (Minnesota, USA), the mercury plummeted to -33 degrees Fahrenheit. To my friends everywhere else in the world, that’s -36 degrees Celsius. 

Life changes at this temperature. The house makes eerie popping sounds. Wildlife disappears. Delicate sensors in vehicles flash false warnings. Ice crystals float in the air.

Today I attempted the ultimate test of frigidity: the Nostril Stick Test. In the painful January air, I breathed in deeply through my nose. My nostrils stuck together like wallpaper paste. A positive test. It was cold.

By now you are certainly asking, “Why do you live there?”

It is a fair question; in fact, I ask myself the same thing every winter: “Why do I live in a place where my nostrils stick together?”

I have no clever answer. This is simply home.