Washington Hogs

 On 2 February 2022, the Washington Football Team will announce their new team nickname. Unfortunately, the team will screw it up, because a name not in consideration is perfect for them. 

The Hogs were the nickname for the former Redskins offensive line in the '80s and early '90s. The nickname took off like wildfire. Redskins fans started dressing like pigs (complemented with female attire for reasons unknown) and cheered on their team every Sunday. In fact, I think Redskins Football Team fans still do this. It's one of those fantastic spontaneous "things" that makes football awesome. 

An original hog from the 1980s.

I should clarify the "Red Hogs" is a nickname finalist. But let's leave the "red" out of it. Why tempt more controversy?

The Hogs nickname has history behind it. It is unique. And if you've ever seen a hog eat its young, you know they are pretty nasty bastards. The name is perfect, which is why the fuddy-duddies in the NFL's ivory tower will never let it happen. 

This is perfect. And it won't happen. (courtesy: Trayton Miller Designs)

The Washington Football Team was formed in Boston in 1932, certainly a more political incorrect time. They were originally called the Braves, but Boston already had a professional baseball team of the same name. So the football Braves changed their name to the Redskins the following year to avoid confusion. (historical footnote: the baseball Braves are now in Atlanta after spending some time in Milwaukee)

After spending four seasons in Boston, the Redskins moved south to Washington D.C., where they've remained for the past 85 years. 

What will Washington's rebranded nickname actually be? My money is on the Commanders. Someone with talent in the graphic arts department came up with this design on Twitter:

courtesy Twitter.com

I don't hate it. It's actually not bad at all. But it's not the Hogs. 

Relativity

A very cold night. There's not much to do, so I am spending some of my free time trying to better understand the undecipherable. I find astronomy, quantum mechanics and astrophysics fascinating, even though the subject matter is leagues above my head.

Below is a very simple explanation of a portion of Einstein's theory of special and general relativity. Well over 100 years ago Einstein predicted the existence of black holes. He also introduced the revolutionary idea that space and time were unified, and spacetime could be manipulated by gravity. Many of his contemporaries called him far too radical; in fact, that's the main reason he couldn't find a job as a teacher early in his career. 

Thanks to modern science, we have verifiable proof that he was exactly right.

I love this quote from Heisenberg. He is best known for the uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics, published almost 100 years ago. Like Einstein, he was light years ahead of his time. 

"Not only is the universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think."

The Nostril Stick Test

I like to call this photo "stupid cold."

This morning in my part of the world (Minnesota, USA), the mercury plummeted to -33 degrees Fahrenheit. To my friends everywhere else in the world, that’s -36 degrees Celsius. 

Life changes at this temperature. The house makes eerie popping sounds. Wildlife disappears. Delicate sensors in vehicles flash false warnings. Ice crystals float in the air.

Today I attempted the ultimate test of frigidity: the Nostril Stick Test. In the painful January air, I breathed in deeply through my nose. My nostrils stuck together like wallpaper paste. A positive test. It was cold.

By now you are certainly asking, “Why do you live there?”

It is a fair question; in fact, I ask myself the same thing every winter: “Why do I live in a place where my nostrils stick together?”

I have no clever answer. This is simply home. 

New year update

New Year's resolutions are stupid.

I "resolved" to start writing every day, 30 minutes a day, beginning January 1st. That didn't happen. I have a dozen excuses, but they are all lame. 

Unlike many people who write, I have a terrible time coming up with something to write about. I seriously struggle with content. 

For that reason, I'm inching toward writing more fiction. Just make stuff up. I can do that, right?

So for lack of anything better to write, and since I spend hardly any time on social media anymore, here's a quick update on life as I know it.

~

Our Christmas was very nice. We spent time with family; on Christmas morning my son got his Oculus Quest he'd been wanting (for over a year) and my daughter got a new phone. No, it wasn't a cheap Christmas, but they've been rockstars in school, they stay out of trouble (for the most part), and good behavior does not go unnoticed by Santa Claus.

Ava getting her new phone

Neil could not believe his eyes

Besides, we spend lots of money on bills; spending a bit of green and putting a smile on our kids' faces is what life is about. I doubt I will lay on my deathbed thinking, "I'm so glad I paid that credit card bill in full." 

~

Coming soon: I'm going to put on a brave face and take my daughter driving in this white crap. My wife simply refuses to do it. Winter driving is a life skill the kid must have prior to getting her license. But I've got a secret to share with you all: I don't want to do it.

~

I've been spending most of my time at work, which I cannot talk about, of course, due to HIPAA. I have a thousand funny stories I could share. Maybe someday when I am retired I will write a tell-all book... 

In fact, I already have a copyrighted title: Nursing and Cursing: My Colorful Life as a Registered Nurse. Cursing someday to a bookstore near you.

I spend my free time writing (when the spirit moves me), and reading--my latest book is a biography on Ava Gardner. I became interested in learning more about her life after reading a biography on Frank Sinatra. It is funny how you read one book and it ignites your interest in another subject or person you'd never given a thought to in the past. In fact, that's why I read.

I've also been watching football--lots of football. I can never get enough football. The FBS bowl games are beyond lame and the Vikings suck this year (it is time for a full reset, kids). However, I'm really looking forward to NDSU Bison playing for a ninth national championship this Saturday. 

Tradition dictates that my family go out for Mexican/Tex-Mex the night before the national championship. It has worked eight times since 2011. So guess what we will be eating Friday night?! (Why Mexican/Tex-Mex, you ask? The championship game is played in Frisco, Texas).

So there you go, a quick update from yours truly... politically correct and non-controversial.