4 January 2025

 Exactly one year ago I published my last post here. I thought it might be rather poetic to post again, 52 weeks later. No, I am not dead. As far as I know I am not even close to being dead yet. But I suppose we are working closer to that goal each day. There is a song about that somewhere.

It is -7 (F) this morning.  A typical Minnesota early January ice box. The sun has yet to rise, the sky a pale, baby blue (it is around 7:30 AM). This time of year is just lonely. Squirrels in abundance at the bird feeder, but that is just about the only sign of life outside.

I took my son driving yesterday around Gull Lake. It was a 63 minute little excursion. He won't be 16 for seven months yet, but it is good to get that winter driving time in while we can. 

I watched the Gophers win the Duke's Mayo Bowl last night, defeating Virginia Tech. Such a prestigious bowl game. Not. The whole damn game a sideshow for some crap mayonnaise ...and the winning head coach gets a mayo "bath" at the end of the game. Somehow, nobody quite sees the joke is on the winning team. Not exactly the pomp and circumstance of the Rose Bowl, right?

While watching the game, I listened to Counting Crows for the first time in years. I am way behind the times and checked out an album called "Somewhere Under Wonderland" which actually came out 11 years ago and I think it is their last full length studio album. Truth is, Adam Duritz is a modern day philosopher and lyrical genius and I've always loved this work. To me, he's a modern day Billy Joel. Duritz's voice can be somewhat an acquired taste at times, in the same vein as Geddy Lee's voice is an acquired taste, but his music and lyrics are second to none.

"If you can't keep your shit together when God is on your side / What chance to you have when He's not around?"

That particular lyric, taken from "Cover Up the Sun," really resonated with me and it seems more relevant today, in the United States, than ever before. Because, yeah, God is supposed to be on our side (in the immortal words of Don Henley, "We pray to our God, who we know is American"), but we definitely do not have our shit together. Not even close.

The wrap this post up, for absolutely no particular reason, I will include a picture of a very large acorn which I found at Wilson's Creek National Battlefield, located just southwest of Springfield, Missouri. Taken late October, 2024.

 

 

4 January 2024

 It was a melancholy, nostalgic day today. We went to Tom Fern’s memorial service in Bertha. It was a heartfelt gathering and I realized today how much I miss my Walker side of the family. I got to talk to cousins and aunts I have not seen in a very long time. One of my cousins, Mike, asked me right away when we were going to have Farm Fest again. For 10 summers we held that great family gathering and we all got to spend time together just because.  

Now, exactly as I figured would happen, we only see each other at funerals. Why does it have to be that way? I don’t have an answer to that question. 

Anyway, it was great to see so many lovely faces again and visit even for a precious hour. We all gather briefly, then scatter like smoke in the wind, back to our own lives. It makes me so sad I can’t see these people more often.  

Our drive to Bertha was a sad landscape of tans and browns. Not a hint of snow other than a few fat flurries in the air. Just a strange winter. 

My Effin' Life

 We are approaching the end of yet another year. As I get older, I become more thankful for another precious trip around the sun. I know time is temporary and we all need to enjoy every moment. So easy to say, so difficult to do. But I try.

I finished yet another book. My Effin' Life by Geddy Lee, one of the co-founders of the band Rush. Now, full disclosure here, I fell in love with Rush when I was 13 or 14 and I have followed them ever since. Their music was so influential on me that I named my only son after the band's drummer, Neil Peart. In my opinion, I believe Peart to be the greatest drummer of all time. And no, I'm not forgetting about the great Buddy Rich, Gene Krupa, Chick Webb, Louis Bellson... or even Jeff Porcaro and, of course, John Bonham. 

I recently was reading an argument about the greatest rock drummer of all time and, as usual, it came down to Neil Peart and John Bonham. Someone said Peart could do what Bonham could do, but it is doubtful Bonham could do what Peart did. That was pretty profound statement to me, and it sealed the deal.

Anway, back to My Effin' Life. The book was -- trying to find the right adjective -- delightful. It was written in a very casual manner, almost as if Geddy was writing an email or text to you. He takes you on an engaging journey from his earliest memories, and includes a somber chapter about his parents' nightmarish experience in concentration camps during the Holocaust. The book is full of highs and lows, joys and sadnesses. He's lived quite an effin' life. 

~

I was looking back on my posts this year. Ten posts in total, seven were since November 1st. Most of those entries were about books and music. What a surprise. My New Years resolution will be to blog more. After all, it is nice to see what happened during the year because my memory is frequently a blur.

We had our own private little Christmas on Saturday morning (23rd) before heading to my in-law's cabin on Pierz Lake. This was the first Christmas in my life where I was awoken during the night because of rain pelting the roof. The year 2023 was most definitely the Rainy and Foggy Christmas (just like the song, "then one foggy Christmas Eve"), as it poured rained from December 23 through Christmas Day and not a lick of snow on the ground. Speaking of, if that pummeling rain had been snow, we probably would not have gotten together for Christmas because the roads would not have been passable.

Lookin' out my backyard, 30 December 2023

I had taken in my rain gauge in October so it wouldn't freeze and break, so I can't say how much rain we actually got, but all that water had a chance to evaporate (thanks to "warm" temperatures) before anything had the chance to freeze. We would've been in major trouble if it had -- downed power lines, downed trees, not to mention sheer ice on roads and sidewalks. Yeah, it could've been bad. Luck was on our side this time. 

I have no plans to see in the new year. Staying home and watching football on the tube sounds magical. The coming week and month will be full of activity and I will try to document it here as a record for myself (I get motivated to document after reading a good memoir). It will be February before I know it... and I believe this is a leap year, so we get a bonus day to 2024.

Living the Beatles Legend

 Another nice day today; it is 38 degrees and sunny. You won't break a sweat taking a walk, but you also won't freeze to death either. We finally got a dusting of snow a few days ago, but it hasn't taken the grass over yet. And there are just 12 days until Christmas. What a mild winter.

I finished Living the Beatles' Legend, The Untold Story of Mal Evans today by Kenneth Womack. I may have mentioned earlier that the Mal Evans story is one the long lost puzzle pieces to Beatles history. His story seems like some kind of fanciful, poorly written novel, but it is completely true. In fact, it make be a great movie "based on a true story."

This book is a well-researched, well-written page turner. I loved it. 

Prior to joining the Beatles, Evans trained as a telecommunications engineer for the General Post Office in Liverpool. He had a perfectly respectable job with a decent pension, a wife and a child on the way in 1961. 

Then one day in that year, he took his lunch break at the Cavern Club in Liverpool and his life changed. Because of his size (he was 6'3" which, at the time, was a massive man) "Big Mal"  stood out. He took a liking the band on stage, rather oddly called the Beatles, and quickly befriended them. 

Before he knew it was was moonlighting as a bouncer at the Cavern Club and, as the band's popularity spread, began working as their second roadie, taking care of the band's equipment while original road manager Neil Aspinall took care of the Beatles themselves. Along with band manager Brian Epstein and Derek Taylor (later Tony Bramwell) handling the press, these four made up the entire Beatles "entourage" during the touring years. Hard to believe, but it is true.

Evans was indispensable to the Beatles. He was also embarrassingly underpaid his entire life by the Fab Four. 

When he was home, which wasn't often, he appeared to be a doting father and caring husband. 

But he was out the door the moment the phone rang, whether to buy new guitar strings for George or accompany Paul on an African safari. Sadly, he lived a compartmental life and truth be told, he was a shitty father and an even shittier husband.

Evans lived the life of a rock star away from home, or at least lived on fringe benefits of being part of the inner circle of the biggest band in the world. Evans was unfaithful to his wife any chance he got (which was often) and he would be away from home for months at a time. Sure he would call home and write letters, but was known for his hard-partying ways and womanizing. And truth be told, the Beatles themselves were hardly choirboys. 

When the Beatles stopped touring, Evans tried his hand at record producing (in fact, he produced Badfinger's "No Matter What," a song my own band plays), and he liked to think of himself as a professional lyricist, which is what he focussed on "later" in his life. 

I say later in quotes because Evans only lived to 40 years old. Evans had alienated his family and moved to L.A. after falling in love with a younger woman. He was already struggling with drug and alcohol addiction when his wife filed for divorce. This should hardly have been a surprise to Evans. but he felt he could have the best of both worlds. At this point, in late 1975, he started spiraling out of control.

He wrote a last will and testament on a piece of tablet paper while inebriated on January 3, 1976. The "will" rambled incoherently and he asked the Beatles to play at his funeral. 

The next day, January 4th, he called a friend and asked them to look after his wife and children, should anything happen to him. 

That evening he proceeded to get drunk to the gills and high on cocaine and loaded a Winchester rifle, which he kept in the bedroom. His live-in girlfriend begged him to put the gun away and then called police when Evans locked himself in their bedroom. When police opened the bedroom door, Evans was sitting on the floor with the gun pointed downward. He was told to drop the weapon. He told the police "No. Blow my head off!" and he suddenly raised the rifle to a shooting position...

My guess is Evans probably did not have mettle to turn the gun on himself, but he knew the police would end it all if he pointed the weapon at them. It is clear he was suicidal and had a plan.

It is strange to think that four years and 11 months after he died, one of his former employers, John Lennon, was also killed by gun violence. Lennon was also 40 years old.

KISS's Finale and Other Thoughts

 I have to admit, I do enjoy standing out on my deck in a t-shirt and slippers on December 2nd, and not freezing my ass off... and not finding myself knee deep in snow. In fact, there is no snow. This isn't unprecedented; I remember some years ago video taping (yes, video taping) our yard on Christmas Eve, and not a single flake of snow to be seen. 

As I've said before, each day that passes with no snow means winter is one day shorter. It could be way worse:

My backyard on this day in 2019. 

Better news still, in three weeks the days will start getting longer again. I think my vitamin regimen is helping, probably especially vitamin D, which makes me encouraged.

I've waited to go on my "health kick" until I got my lab results back. I got my blood drawn yesterday and things are exactly as I thought they'd be. High cholesterol, really high triglycerides. My fasting glucose is high, which has been the case for several years. So I've earned "pre-diabetic" to my list of titles. Not one I want... but like I said in my last post, I can do something about all of it.

Tonight we are kicking off the Christmas season by attending the Madrigal Dinner, produced by the high school choir. We attended last year and it was fun. It is a multi-course dinner with singing and a play, all Christmas-themed.

This is also a historic night in the music world. Tonight is KISS's final performance on their "End of the Road" tour. This tour saw 250 performances on five continents. We will get to a point in time when this kind of tour will be a thing of the past. Most bands today will only tour during the summer and they call a 20-date run of shows a "tour." They just don't make bands like KISS anymore.

KISS has been one of my favorite bands for about 49 years. I discovered them when I was five years old and I was obsessed from the beginning (around 1975). KISS's Destroyer was the first album I ever owned (my mother bought it for me) and I was Peter Criss for nearly every Halloween during my youth. There has been no other band like KISS and their live show remains unmatched by anyone. 

I've been fortunate enough to see the band three times, twice with the original line-up and once with my kids nearly four years ago. The show was absolutely amazing.

We saw KISS's "End of the Road" tour in Grand Forks, ND, Feb 22, 2020. 

Now, do I think KISS will actually not perform live again? I'd say there's absolutely no chance they will hang it up for good. Even though this is a big "to do," and they are ending their careers where it all began (New York City), and this weekend has been a "KISS take-over" of the Big Apple, KISS has done this before. They went on a "Farewell Tour" way back in 2000. They swore that tour was it. 

And they were back on the road a year later. 

Performing live is a drug to these guys. They won't be able to stay away from the stage. The only thing that can keep them away is age and health. 

But for tonight, I will pretend along with everyone else that their long, fantastic run is over. 

Black Friday, 2023

 Thanksgiving is over, but it was just another day here. I was on-call for my work which meant doing a whole lot of nothing. If I were to put a positive spin on it, I got paid for watching football. Now that's not a bad gig!

I went to the doctor on Tuesday for a check up. Most of my maladies are self-induced and can be self-corrected to a degree. My blood pressure medication was increased (again). Exactly as my doc says, "you could probably get off one of these medications if you lost 20-25 pounds. Maybe that could be the carrot on the end of the stick." 

He's right. Not that being on two BP medications is making me go broke, but they are also not free. Also that fact that one med wasn't cutting it so another was added. Then a year later, the dose of that med was doubled is rather concerning. But this just in: I can do something about it if I want to.

Losing weight is something that's been in the back of my mind for a while. In 2012 I lost 50 pounds between April and September. I didn't go on a crash diet, I just started counting calories with a handy app called My Fitness Pal. I realized in short order just how much I was actually eating. I didn't exclude anything, but I made sure I measured every portion. A "serving" of ice cream and a "bowl" of ice cream (in my world) were two very different things. My lord, no wonder I was overweight!

After losing all that weight I didn't think I looked or felt any different, but in retrospect I certainly did. Only a handful of pictures survive of me at my thinnest in 2012 and wow... yes, I definitely looked different (better). I certainly felt better too, but I did a great job of lying to myself. I have slowly put almost every pound back on by falling back into old habits. Live and learn. 

Taking off that much weight seems like a daunting task now. But it really isn't. Again I do a great job lying to myself; that's why jotting down these meandering thoughts can be helpful. I found losing weight easy. Keeping it off is a bitch, but I also did not have a plan for keeping it off. I did it all wrong last time. I am at the age where I need to change my lifestyle, not just my diet. That's the key. Now I know.

Certainly some of my weight is related to my beer/alcohol intake and that has certainly been curbed over the last few weeks. I know I make myself sound like a incapacitated drunk, and that's not the case. But yes, I probably drink more than the average person (at least I think I do... but maybe there are a lot of closet drinkers out there who don't admit how much they drink? I am pretty open about it). Anyway, I've had just a couple of pints of beer since the beginning of the month and my head space is better, I think.

Of course, this is a bad time to start thinking about losing weight. Over the holidays? Ha! But you have to start some time and I can keep lying to myself and say "I'll wait another five weeks until the new year." Yep, just keep procrastinating.

Well, this has been an stimulating entry. But it has also been on my mind lately. Then again, nobody is reading this, so it's okay.

I have finished Scattershot by Bernie Taupin. A well-written memoir; again, my only complaint is he didn't talk about why or how he started writing at all... and I wished he would have talked more about the inspirations behind his lyrics. He did on occasion, but not nearly enough for me.

I've now started reading Living the Beatles Legend, the first biography of the Beatles road manager/personal assistant, Mal Evans. Written by Kenneth Womack, the biography is based on Evans' memoir which he started to write 50 years ago and it is one of the huge missing pieces to Beatles history  finally seeing the light of day. Years ago, I remember reading about a Mal Evans memoir which was never published. And now here it is. 

A quick backstory, Evans was shot by Los Angeles police in 1976 at the age of 40 and his story was never told. He was estranged from his family and suffered from drug addiction and probably mental illness. A very sad ending to what everyone described as a very kind man. 

He spent almost every waking hour with the Beatles from 1963 to 1970 and he managed to write this memoir before he died, but after his death, it was subsequently put in storage in a warehouse, along with his diaries, journals and photographs of his Beatles years, in New York City where it sat forgotten for years. 

Long story short, the entire manuscript was almost thrown away when a warehouse worker recognized the value of what she was looking at and saved it. She somehow got in contact with Yoko Ono, who, much to her credit, got in touch with the right people and eventually all of Mal Evans' personal effects made it back to his family in England. More years past, and the idea for this book germinated.

And so far it is better than I anticipated. Credit to Womack, it is easy to read and easy to follow. I managed to plow through 100 pages yesterday, which is traveling at warp speed for me. I can't put it down.

Saturday morning, 18 November 2023

 After a week of very unseasonably warm weather (highs in the 60s!), today was a slap back to reality. A crisp, chilly, late autumn morning. I was up relatively early (6:30 AM-ish) and read a bit more from Scattershot (yeah, I am a notoriously slow reader) and drank multitudes of strong, black coffee. 

I was thinking this morning that coffee is the solution to everything, literally and figuratively (from a scientific standpoint, coffee really is a solution. And coffee is the answer to anything life can throw at you. Get it?). Then I started thinking ...hmmm... there is an essay there somewhere. Then I thought, nevermind. I'm sure that's already been done before.

Still, coffee and a good book. A near-perfect beginning to the day.

The perfect solution

Because of Scattershot, I have gone down an Elton John/Bernie Taupin wormhole. I have been an Elton John fan for a long time. Many years ago, when I was lost and working at Fingerhut, I met a co-worker who was a huge Elton John fan. She let me borrow a four or six-CD (I forget how many) "greatest works" box set, which I promptly copied onto cassette (yes, cassette). I was exposed to all sorts of fantastic Elton John songs that were not hits; I felt I had a nice foothold on the deeper tracks. 

[editor's note: I had to think for a long time, but I remembered that co-worker was named Michelle. I think she was the first person I ever met with one green eye and one blue eye. I don't remember Michelle's last name... in fact, I'm not sure if I ever knew it. But she was more than happy to share her love of Elton John with me and she trusted me with that magnificent box set, which was definitely not cheap. For that, I will always be grateful. I wonder what ever happened to Michelle?]

Anyway, last night I was up a little later than usual sifting through John's first few albums, listening to really deep cuts, some more than 50 years old which I've never heard before (the nice thing is if you've never heard the song before, it is new to you!). As expected, I discovered a pile of hidden gems. "Come Down in Time," "High Flying Bird," "First Episode at Hienton," "Amoreena," and the wonderful "Talking Old Soldiers" are just a handful of great lesser known songs that I was unfamiliar with, just waiting to be discovered. Of course, there are many, many more albums to go, so I feel like I have got a whole world waiting to be explored.

Ꮘ

Ah, Saturdays... when I don't have to work, I love relaxing weekends (who doesn't? I guess that was a stupid statement). Today there's an abundance of college football on the tube. I might even enjoy a delicious Romeo y Julieta cigar at some point today. The sun is shining and the sky is completely cloudless. Best of all, we still don't have any snow. Each week without snow means a another week less of winter in my mind. It is chilly, but I don't mind that. It is the snow and its debilitating effects that I hate. 

It can snow in March and April all it wants. I know we need precipitation during the winter, nature has its needs, but spring blizzards are not the perma-snow we get in October/November... the shit that lasts six months.

We went to Fargo last weekend, but typical me, I didn't take any pictures. After the football game we went to Drekker Brewing, which we've been to before. However, Drekker has now built a brand new hotel/market/restaurant area called "Brewhalla" next to the original brewery. The shops are very interesting, each selling unique artisan works, from pottery to hand-made dog treats/toys to unique soaps, foods, plants, books, paintings and damn near anything else you can think of. Looking for Japanese mayonnaise? This is the place to find it.

Oh, and there's beer, too. And imbibing is highly encouraged as you browse the shops. Highly recommended.

One of the unique shops in Brewhalla (my daughter spent $100 here)

Until next time...

A Hat That Lets Rain In

 My journey continues with Scattershot, Bernie Taupin's memoir. I just read an excellent quote from the book, attributed to Frederick the Great:

"A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in."

I just love that quote. 

As I may have said earlier, I wish Taupin discussed the originations and inspirations for his lyrics a bit more, because he is one of the best of all time; nevertheless, it is a well-written and fun read. I am enjoying it.

Last week we went to my daughter's last high school fall play. The beginning of many "first lasts" as the year continues. I try not to get sentimental about it, but deep inside, I am a big fucking sap.

Ava's last fall play as stage manager.

Ava has been selected to do an internship at the local hospital, which also happens to be my employer (she swears she did not name drop, even though I told her to. I have found it is not what you know, but WHO you know in life that gains you meaningful employment). This past week has been insane, trying to get everything done (background checks, immunizations, photo for ID, answering a thousand questions from a thousand different forms) so she can start on Monday.

Anyway, she was selected to intern with various departments at the hospital and clinic and I think it will be a fantastic experience for her. But between school, theater, her own part time job and this internship, she's burning the candle at both ends, plus a third end which has never been discovered before. Luckily, the internship is just two days a week and lasts only five weeks. 

The sun has not revealed itself for at least three days. It has been gray, overcast, occasional snow flurries in the air and chilly. We are no longer in the vibrant fall crown of October. We are now in the shades of gray belly of November. 

I do just fine with the seasonal change until daylight saving time ends. When the clocks fall back an hour... let's just say I do not deal with constant darkness very well. Neither does my daughter. Undoubtedly we both have undiagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder, or whatever it is called. 

A photo of my backyard back in 2009. Soon it'll look like this again. Not looking forward to it.

Ava is getting some help from a school shrink, which I am thankful for. I am pounding Vitamin D. In the past, this is the time of year when I start pounding beer/alcohol as well, more than I should. It has never effected my job or my home life, but I've always used the excuse, "It helps me get through the dark months." 

This year, I am very aware of that pitfall and I am making a conscious effort not to go there. I know the vicious cycle it creates. I am thinking of buying one (maye two!) of those bright therapeutic lights. I've seen them actually work for people, to help them get out of the wintertime funk. They are not very expensive. I just might do that. I'm also going to write more here. That helps me too.

Ya know, I never thought I'd move from Minnesota, but the older I get, the more appealing spending winters in Arizona sounds. That's still a few years away, but the gears are turning in the back of my mind.

✴

I decided we are going out for dinner tonight, the four of us. We aren't going to have too many of these moments anymore with Ava going to college next year and it has been a long, stressful week (although it has been very productive, too). We deserve an evening out.

Tomorrow we are going to Fargo to an NDSU football game. The Bison are good, but definitely not great this year; not national champions great -- the first time in about 15 years I've had to say that -- but it is still very fun to go to a game and spend time with family after the game. Anything to break up the routine, even for a day.

Speaking of family, I cannot end without wishing a Happy Birthday to my mother. She passed away unexpectedly some 33 1/2 years ago, but she will never, ever be forgotten. November 8th would have been her 95th birthday.

My mom, taken in the mid-1980s, doing what she loved to do.

 

Now and Then

 A trying morning today. 

My daughter has a heart of gold and she stretches herself too thin at times. She is the student stage manager of the theater department and things have become overwhelming for her; specifically the behavior of one kid. 

This morning it boiled over. I sensed something was wrong before she left for school. I stopped her to make sure she was okay. She definitely wasn't. Long story short, I assured her that controlling the behavior of other kids, especially kids with mental illness, is far beyond the scope of her responsibilities and I contacted her instructor. Thankfully, we were able to make things better. A potentially bad day turned into a good day for her. Parenting can be stressful but today's incident was a good catch; things could have become disastrous. Parents have to stay in tune with their kids.

The Beatles last song "Now and Then" was released yesterday; the video was released today. It was directed by Peter Jackson and my God, is it ever powerful. 

The more I listen to the song, the more I like it. But the video takes it to a whole different level. I read an article by Geoff Edgers from the Washington Post say the song was "fine, but that is the problem. It has to be more than fine." I can tell you unequivocally that Edgers is beyond full of shit. This pompous puke could not possibly be more wrong. It is a beautiful closure to a legacy that is immortal.

I have a gig tonight at the Brainerd Eagles Club with my band. I'm looking forward to it. We had a rehearsal last Saturday and I think we are going to rip the place up tonight.

More later.

November 1

 Today seems like a good day to start writing here again. Although I know it is a seldom visited blog, I like to jot down ideas now and then.

I'm currently reading a memoir called Scattershot by Bernie Taupin. Taupin has been Elton John's lyricist since the very beginning of John's career, all the way back when he was still known as Reginald Dwight. I have loved Taupin's lyrics from the very beginning and the book is a fun read, because it is so wonderfully written. Yes, he has a way with words... but about that...

I do admit I am a little disappointed because he doesn't talk nearly enough about his writing inspirations and influences -- he never talks about why he started writing in the first place, so that's a bit disappointing. He's such a brilliant writer, able to pack a million emotions into just a few lines, which is incredibly difficult; I'd love to know more about how he does it.

I am a music person and I am just fascinated with the creative process. I love to know why things are written. Where did it come from? Why did he write something like "Candle in the Wind" or "Rocketman" or "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," which John set to unforgettable music? What was he reading or watching at the time that inspired those words? 

Anyway...

It is November 1st and Christmas commercials have started in earnest. Christmas displays have been out in local stores for several weeks. I love Christmas, but in like good Americans we go way overboard. Too much, too soon, too long... the American way.

Lastly, the kids went trick or treating last night for the last time together. I can't believe that time is gone. It went far too fast. Actually, they were collecting food for the school's food shelf, which is an annual event sponsored by one of my daughter's high school clubs. Still, it was the last time and it was kind of sad.

One last Trick or Treat.

My band and a video!

Not sure if anybody looks at my little page in the world. I definitely do not come around here much... but here's something kind of neat. I have a band and now we have a short promo video.

Click here to see The Mugwugs in action!